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Barry University The Nursery Sway and Josephines Ring Poem Commentary

will attach the students poems in a word file.

This is what I’m looking for in terms of at least five comments for each poem. Feel free to make more comments (Just highlight a word, phrase, or line in the poem to start a conversation thread or respond with an expanded thought to a conversation thread that’s already been started. Try not to highlight too much text because things get messy. If you want to comment on the first stanza, for example, you could just click on the last word of the stanza and then refer to the whole stanza in your comment.)

(1) something specific you appreciate about the poem. Don’t be general (“I liked the wording,” or “I liked the images,” or “I like the subject matter.”) Instead, be specific about what stood out to you in the poem (“I liked the powerful verbs in the second and forth lines” or “I liked the images of the ‘purple whale stranded between two kayaks’ and the “tiny, sharp harpoon encased in blubber” because each image was fresh and unexpected and gave me a new vision of whale hunting.)
(2) something specific that surprises you about the poem. (We hope to be using language and subjects in ways that surprise people as opposed to predictable language that, for example, one might find in Hallmark cards: “I love you so much.” “I miss you so much.” “You are my everything.”)
(3) two specific suggestions about some part of the poem that could be improved. Again, be specific. (“I think you should work on the wording in the poem” or “You could use more figurative language” are far too general.) I know that you’re not yet experts on poetry, but trust your intuition when reading the poem and point out places that are weak (e.g., “The fourth line seems too wordy and could be tightened up.” “The third line is a cliché. Might you come up with a fresher way to get the idea across?” “I don’t understand what you meant in the opening line. Who is the ‘he’?”). If you say, “I loved it all and can’t think of anything to improve,” you will lose 1/3 of your grade on the critique of that poem.


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